False Allegations

The good news is that 95% of all divorce and custody cases are handled largely outside of the courtroom, with a minimum of intervention from the family court system.  But if you are unfortunate enough to be involved in one of the 5% of contested divorces, then you could be in for a few sucker punches that you never saw coming. 

One of the most common tactics used when attempting to influence the judge (or jury) is to make a false allegation.  This may take the form of accusations of sexual or physical abuse against the child(ren) or spouse, and my be brought by either the child(ren) or the spouse.  So there are a lot of variables to consider here. But it's worth mentioning, at least in general terms, so that you aren't knocked off balance when it happens.

The reason this is used, and oftentimes even encouraged by the opposing counsel, is because it is one of the few cases in our legal system where the accused is "guilty until proven innocent".  In a knee-jerk attempt to protect the abused party, that person's word is assumed to be valid.  This is a reasonable response, in a legitimate case, of course.  The default reaction is to immediately remove the offending party from contact, often by means of a restraining order, to prevent the opportunity for further abuse.   Unfortunately, there are thousands of illegitimate accusations being brought everyday to a courtroom in your hometown.

So what do you do?  It is probably a good idea to find yourself a good lawyer, if you don't already have one. While you are going to be inclined to want to just sit down with someone and tell them the truth, it would be wise to first do some homework, and second, sit down with representation at your side.  The most innocent remarks can and will be taken out of context.

It is also important to act quickly because it is common for the parent behind the false allegations of abuse  to "work on" the child, and to shop around to secure a therapist or a counselor to act as the professional who receives the allegations. In many cases, the accusing parent will find an inexperienced therapist who naively gets roped  into the role of being the child's advocate in criminal proceedings.   In my own case, a counselor was contracted to testify against me, although she'd only met me once for 10 minutes.  From this, she somehow diagnosed that I had "batterer" tendencies.  Turns out she'd work for most of her career in a battered woman's shelter.  You could say that she wasn't a big fan of men, in general!  But it goes both ways of course.  Just be aware that this is probably what's going on behind the scenes in an effort to find a professional witness to discredit you.

Dealing with false allegations of this nature is no small matter.  But if you can, plan and manage the situation, by doing your homework with a professional of your choosing, then your chances are greatly improved.  You will need to get in writing (or a recording) a detailed account review of the alleged events.  Oftentimes, a fabricated story will have holes and contradictions which will ultimately discredit the story and the storyteller.  If you can expose the accusing parent's manipulation of the truth and of the child in this manner, illustrating that the motivation was malicious and deliberately intending to hurt your case, it could very well backfire on them!