Winning Custody Without Losing a Fortune

If you've taken the initiative to do your own research for your custody fight, then you probably:

• Are planning to represent yourself, pro se
• Feel as though your attorney's not giving you enough information to prepare you to win, and win quickly.  (Why should he?  He gets paid by the hour)
• Just want to be as informed as possible so that you can know what to expect.
  

In any case, you probably have some idea already about how much this whole thing is going to cost you.  Hint: You could buy at least one new car for what you're going to pay.  I don't want to discourage you, or sound too terribly cynical.  But you will also find that the whole family court system seems to be set up to make as much money as possible for the judges' friends who are attorneys, family counselors, mediators, social study evaluators and coaches. It is a BIG business through which millions of dollars flow each year. If you don't want to contribute to their racket, then your best defense is to be as well-informed as possible.

There are a lot of books and ebooks available to help ramp you up, so that you don't have to depend on your $400/hr lawyer to educate you between his golf games. Most of these resources are available for less than the cost of 1/2 hour of legal advice.  And you don't have to worry whether the adviser has any ulterior motives!

I couldn't begin to provide all the info you'll need on how to win your custody battle, but here are a few pointers to consider and learn more about.

1) Fill out your own paperwork.

90% of legal forms are boilerplate templates that family law attorneys all get from the same software package!  They just change the specifics.  It's easy enough to find samples of these forms, such as the Petition for Divorce, or Petition to Modify.  Other forms, such as Motions for Temporary Orders, Motions for Discovery may also be required.  If you can put these together yourself, you may end up paying for just 15 minutes of your attorney's time, rather than a full hour

2) Define a list of disputed issues PRIOR to mediation.

I should probably have put this one first!  I know you're probably angry and want to fight.  But if you can settle this in mediation, rather than going through the hoopla of the family court system, you will save thousands of dollars that can instead stay in your child's college fund.  Anyway, when you DO go to mediation, be sure that you have a well-defined list of disputed items to resolve.  Otherwise, the mediators (who are ALSO oftentimes paid by the hour)  and attorneys will let you drag this process on for days and days.

3) Decide in advance what you're willing to compromise on.

This is somewhat related to mediation, but deserves its own bullet. There will be a few things that you are inclined to fight for just out of spite.  You just don't want him/her to win ANYTHING.  But in reality, you really don't care all that much.  As hard as it may seem, decided in advance what these items are, because you WILL be expected to give and take in the negotiation process.  Just understand that you stubbornness, for stubbornness sake will cost you.

 4) Educate yourself as much as possible.

Get as much information as you can possibly find out about the family court system and what is expected and required to win the custody of your child(ren).  Whatever time / money you spend will save you ten-fold in legal fees, and give you more confidence to handle all the demands that will be placed on you as you traverse this bumpy road.